Week 21: You Get Back On

I was noticeably absent last week. Both from my meeting and my blog. What do you do when you fall off the horse? You get back on. I really didn't fall off a horse. I was more bucked off and trampled upon. If I thought the previous week was bad, the next was terrible. My family was all still sick, and then I became sick. The mom can't get sick! Monday morning I woke up feverish and in so much pain. I was afraid it was the flu but it turned out to be just a horrible sinus infection. I say "just" like it was nothing. It really was the worst sinus infection I've ever had. And I've had a lot. Maybe 40 or so? I had surgery 8 years ago to fix the problem, but it didn't quite do that. It just made the problem less frequent. Needless to say, I skipped my last meeting and weigh-in. I have not had much of an appetite for the past week and I have felt too crummy to cook so just about every meal has been fast food. I'm totally serious. I think we've put the carhop at Sonic through college. Or at least the CEO's kids. So even though I didn't eat much, everything I put in my mouth was pretty close to crap and I didn't work out at all. (That was thanks to pulling out my back Wedesday night putting Ellie back in bed). I was a mess. Yet I still lost about 3 1/2 pounds. I knew this was all fake but I have to stay within 2 pounds of my goal weight so I just wore heavy clothes today and clocked in at -1.8 pounds. I think my self-forgiveness thing was vital to my sense of well-being this week. I have been much more positive this week than last. I never really looked at myself and said, "Wow baby, you're looking good" but not because I felt fat, but because my eye was swollen and my face was flushed and sunken in. On the contrast, I didn't look in the mirror and say, "Wow ugly, you're fat and lazy and eating nothing but crap. Way to go stupid head." I realized that I didn't really have control over my circumstances and I was just going to ride it out and do the best I could. I have forgiven myself for being that mean person who called myself "stupid head" all the time and by doing that, the nice me is all that's left. The power of positive self-talk is extreme. I can never shut up the voice that rings in my head. It's always there. But I have control over what it says. Because it's my voice. And what I tell myself really sticks. It's rubber, and I'm glue. It sticks. The world can try to bring me down, but I know I have power to conquer it and if I can't quite conquer, I can at least ride it out until things start to look up.
Next week will mark 6 weeks since meeting my goal weight. This means I will become a lifetime member! I am thrilled that I have done this. Looking back at the beginning, I didn't think I would ever get here. And if I ever did, I didn't think I would be here this soon. Weight Watchers has changed me as a person for the better. I am  more positive and more optimistic about the future. I can't wait to start working (Saturday is my first day!) and be a part of other people's successes. It is seriously one of the most rewarding things I have ever been a part of. I can't wait to celebrate next week!

My Progress:
Week one:   4.6 lost
Week two:   2.2 lost
Week three: 0.8 lost
Week four:   2.2 lost
Week five:    3.2 lost
Week six:     1.6 lost
Week seven: 2.2 lost
Week eight:  1.2 lost
Week nine:   2.0 lost
Week ten:    3.4  lost
Week eleven: 0.4 gained
Week twelve: 2.6 lost
Week thirteen: Christmas. Didn't weigh in.
Week fourteen: 0.8 lost
Week fifteen: 1.6 lost
Week sixteen: 1.8 lost
Week seventeen: 0.4 gained
Week eighteen: 2.0 lost
Week nineteen: 1.4 gained
Week twenty: On my death bed. Didn't weigh in.
Week twenty-one: 1.8 lost

Total: 31.2 pounds lost!