Official Photos!

Here's the official Color Up 5K photos of me and my friend Anna at the end of the race. Her shoes were killing her feet so she took them off. She didn't run without shoes.

And here's proof that I actually ran the thing. Slightly freaked out? I was. Didn't quite recognize me. I was really really excited because the hill finally leveled out. Yeah, two color stations on that hill. It was HUGE!!!! That blue in my left armpit stayed there for 4 days. The green in the photos above stayed on my face and neck for 4 days. I did shower when I got home. I didn't wait 4 days. Just so we're clear.

Color Up 5K!

I ran the color run in April as a capstone to my losing 35 pounds and to prove to myself that I could run an entire 5K. Today I ran the Color Up 5K to support a friend who was running as a capstone to her weight loss. The Color Up run is much like the Color Run but on a much smaller scale. It was here in town which was nice since I live about 2 miles away from the course. But we started in white and ran through rainbows just the same. There was a big difference in this race, however. In April, the skies were cloudy, there was a cool breeze and it was April. Today, the sun shown down upon us suckers. Beat down on us really. It was already above 80 when we started. This course was also quite hilly. Really, really hilly. Like steep, switchback type hills. And I ran it. Okay, I ran the hardest hill. It was first. Then I kept running. About halfway through the race, I decided I was way too hot and needed to pace myself. Part of me wanted to just keep going to prove to myself that I could do it and that I'm strong and capable and awesome. But a larger part of me wanted to finish the race on my own and not with the help of the medic's go-cart. So I took walk breaks. And I didn't feel guilty one little bit! It was a tough course and I did it. I ran most of it and got myself slathered in color (which is why you go).

I am now a Weight Watchers leader. Like I've arrived. I should feel at the top of my game right? Truth is, I still struggle. I've gained 3 pounds in the past 2 or 3 weeks. I know what I need to do to get back down to where I want to be and I'm not too worried about it. But I realize that even the leaders continue to fight for their ideal body. It's like I said at the beginning of this blog, a journey ends and you turn back around. I'm determined to stay the course. If I have walk breaks in the middle, it's fine. Because in the end, I want to cross that finish line on my own merits. I want to be able to look back 20 years from now and still be at a healthy weight. I have learned that I will always have a weakness for cookies. I don't know if I'll ever be able to just eat one and be fine. But that's something I had to learn for myself. I have to know my weaknesses in order for them to become strengths right?

I had kind of a cool moment while running this morning. I was taking a walk break and kind of eyed a point ahead of me where I would tell myself to start running again. This is how I have always "run" in the past. I would pick a point, start running when I got to it, pick another point and try to push myself to get to that point with the promise of another walk break. Today I picked a point that was several yards ahead of me. I told myself I'll catch my breath then start again. Then something happened. I looked down at my feet and saw that I had started running again. I was a good 20 yards away from my target point. But my body was ready. It just went. My weakness in running was always my head. My inner monologue would tell me cheap lies like "just make it to this point and you can walk." and "if you keep running right now your legs will fall off and your lungs will explode." I've shut up that voice and replaced it with a cheerleader. I can honestly say that I love running and only want to get better. And I'm totally looking forward to my next race! In the cool, cool Fall...

Before
Already sweating!

After
Really sweating.

Leader!

Since February I have been training to become a Weight Watchers leader. There have been a mix of online classes, at work practices and an awesome conference in Orlando that have given me the tools I need to become a leader. Throughout this whole process I have been getting more and more excited about the program and helping people succeed. Orlando was such a great experience. It was 3 intense days of learning with 25 of the greatest people on the planet! It was great in that not only did I learn the ins and outs of leading meetings, but I really learned a lot about myself in the process. I gained more confidence in myself. I gained a better understanding of who I was, am and want to be. I gained some pretty great friends. I didn't gain a pound (woot). Since my trip to Orlando, I have had the opportunity to lead 2 meetings while being observed. I've received great feedback and feel ready to take this on.

Next Tuesday is the day to take it on! I'll be leading the Tuesday night meeting here in town. I am super excited. Can I just say I'm super excited. I feel so comfortable doing this. I have been a receptionist for meetings since March and have loved it. I love getting to know people and their stories. I feel like it's such a privilege to be apart of their lives. This is my chance to give back. My life, and the lives of those closest to me, have been changed for the best since I joined Weight Watchers 9 months ago. There's no way I can repay my leader, my meeting family, the whole program in general. What they have given me is immeasurable and you can't pay back something you can't quantify. So I pay it forward. I love this stuff so much and believe in it, and the people, so much that I am truly excited about my job.

I'm nervous and yet eager to start. I feel like I'm such a newbie still. There are members that have been there much longer than me yet I'll be the one guiding them? But everyone has to start somewhere. One day I'll be the leader up there saying I've kept off my weight for 12 years and still feel awesome. Being a leader totally fits who I am and I am excited. It's awesome to be able to help others and keep myself in check all at the same time. Bring it on Tuesday nights!!

On a quick side note, I kind of impulsively made the decision to run a marathon on my 40th birthday. But it sounds pretty good. So I'm sticking with it. 5K for 30th birthday, 26.2 miles for my 40th. And 50th. And 60th.

Running Mix

I'm starting to really love running. Once I got over that mental hurdle of "you can only make it to this point" and just kept running through that point, I've discovered that my body is capable of running 3 miles without dying!!! Your heart is supposed to beat faster and your breath is supposed to get heavy. If you quit just when that starts to happen, you never get stronger and you're stuck in a mental rut. I've discovered that the voice in my head is powerful and can be very negative. I've been trying to change that into a more positive voice, but the negativity is always there somewhere. So I've learned to tune out that negative voice with some tunes while I run. Here's what I'm listening to right now:

I Run To You - Lady Antebellum (warm up)
Let's Get It Started - Black Eyed Peas
Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benatar
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
Fighter - Christina Aguilera
Miss Independent - Kelly Clarkson
One More Night - Maroon 5
Independent Woman Pt 1 - Destiny's Child (is that right right title?
Hey Ya - OutKast
Rock On - Blondie's cover
Body Work - Morgan Page
Rumor Has It - Adela
I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz (cool down)

Need to get Going the Distance by Cake.

I read on my cousin's blog that her best friend from high school only listens to her running songs when she runs. That has changed my world. I think I have a Pavlovian response to these songs now. I just run. It's becoming just as easy to run as it is to stop and walk. I think I need to start working on my speed.

What songs do you work out to?

The Words I Never Thought I'd Hear

I took my kids to the dentist first thing this morning. Ellie took a little longer than Jack so I took him back to the waiting room so he could play while we waited. After talking to the people at the front desk I sat down. There were some ladies sitting on the other side of the room. I'd guess they were mid-20's. They were with a little girl who was waiting to go back. So one calls out to me and said that she just told her sister, "I like her shoes, I like her shirt" (Note: I was in my workout clothes because I was going to run when we were done). Then the sister says, "And I said I like her stomach! It's flat!!"
Who me? After I had Jack (and by after I mean a year), I couldn't even suck in my stomach to go flat anymore. My stomach has never really been flat, mind you, but I used to at least pretend it was for about 16 seconds before I had to exhale.
So that's awesome. I am struggling a little bit though. I'm getting too lax. I notice that I'm slipping into old habits, only I'm keeping active. It's starting to show a bit on the scale though. I just can't kick myself into gear. I keep forgetting to track. I start out great, then by lunch I just space it. By the time I remember, I don't want to track because I know I've snuck too many things in my mouth and I just don't want to be accountable for it. It's not like I eat a whole key lime pie or anything. I eat 2 or 3 PointsPlus values at a time. But those totally add up. I've got to get in gear. I'm supposed to be the example now! This has been going on for maybe 2 or 3 weeks. I've stayed within plus or minus a pound or so, but I want to lose about 5-10 more and the way I'm sliding by is not going to cut it. I blamed it on my period at first, but that so can't be an excuse anymore. I'm going to clean my fridge tomorrow. Maybe that will help things. I've noticed before that when my fridge it clean, I'm more likely to go there to find a snack than my cupboard. The fridge always has better snacks for me. And if my kitchen is clean, I'm more likely to cook something in it. That makes my kitchen dirty and thus the downward spiral begins. But I'll try it. I'm going to clean out my fridge and keep my kitchen clean. I'll check in next week and post my progress.

What does 35 pounds look like?

First off, I'm still living off my Color Run high.
Second, I decided to take some measurements this morning. I haven't done it for a few months and I was just curious. Here's the differences.
Since September 2012 I have lost:
4 dress sizes
4 inches on my hips
3 inches on my arms
6.5 inches on my waist
4 inches on my bust
and 3 inches on my thighs.

Sometimes I look at 35 pounds and think it's not that much. It's Biggest Loser's fault. They make it seem like you need to lose 100 pounds in 12 weeks to be awesome. People there lose 35 pounds their first week. So I'm glad I did this little measurement. 35 pounds is an awesome accomplishment!! I've lost a Jack and a half! I think this calls for some clothes shopping :)

COLOR RUN!!!!

The Color Run claims itself to be the "Happiest 5K on the Planet." I can verify that the Color Run IS the happiest 5K on the planet! I was smiling so much even though my teeth were blue.  We had such a blast!!!

My run was fueled by adrenaline. I didn't sleep much the night before due to children in my bed (read: elbows in my side, legs in my eye). I was up at 5:40 and we were ready to go at 6:30. In the morning. We arrived and there were literally thousands of people ready to run. The energy was fantastic. There was a dress code of white shirts. It's a sight to see thousands of people dressed in white ready to look like a rainbow sneezed on them. Here's us before:

Left to Right: Connie, Erricka (Aleasha's sister), Aleasha (my sister-in-law), Ashley (Leash's friend and Connie's daughter), Me, Abby (Aleasha's friend, Ashley's sister-in-law, Connie's daughter-in-law), and Chris (see Abby's description, it's the same for Chris.)
Got it?
We were so clean and neat as we set off on our race. My goal was to run the whole thing. Guess what? I DID IT!!!!! By about halfway through I said to Aleasha, "It's just as easy to keep running as it would be to stop and walk." The energy was so contagious that it was hard not to run and high-five people as we passed. Our team name was "Kickin' Asphault". Aleasha, Ashley and I put it on the back of our shirts. 3 people stopped us asking if they could take a picture with the back of our shirt. Um, yeah you can! People were in tutus, crazy hats and funky socks. It was seriously a party.

And after!!! This guy photo-bombed us.

So we embraced it. I was totally eating a Kind bar when they took these pictures. They gave them out at the finish line. I am now a HUGE fan of Kind bars. 

We had crazy elbows after the race. All of that sweat made cool diamonds. Gross and awesome all at the same time. My hand is there at the top. The one with the crazy long thumbs.

We also got crazy tie-dye tacos. I think I won for best tacos. Greatest tacos ever!!!

This race marked my weight loss of 35 pounds!! That's me saying 35, not 8. Although we can lie and say I did an 8-minute mile... As fun and carefree as this race was, it was also deeply emotional for me. I have reformed my life and am morphing it into a healthier, happier, crazy runner, awesome life. I ran the whole thing. I want to do a 10K now. It was AWESOME!!!!!

Victoria wanted me to take a picture of me breakdancing like the guy in the official Color Run video. This is my attempt. Pretty close.

After a 20 minute shower, I was pretty cleaned off. One armpit is still a a little blue and my toes look bruised but I view them as a color badge of honor. I'm still sneezing blue but my teeth are white again. It was so stinking fun. I am so glad I did this. I had an amazing time. The people I was with helped make it such a fabulous experience. I'm sure we'll be kickin' asphault again!

Elbows

I noticed something this week. When I straighten my elbows, there is no longer a bulge on top of my elbow in the back. It's just arm, wrinkles over the elbow, and then arm again. Before, it was like my elbow was a dimple and there was a big bulge of pudge over my elbow dimple. I know, it's totally weird, but it's awesome! I'm up to 35 pounds lost. I run the color run tomorrow. Bring it.

Well Now What??

It was a huge change for me to start tracking my eating and making conscious eating/moving decisions but I did it. It took a few weeks but soon things started to become habit and now the principles I have learned through Weight Watchers are ingrained inside me. Then I hit this huge milestone. Now what? I'm still losing weight. I'm up to 33 pounds. But it's different now. It's a very strange feeling. It's a good feeling. But it's strange nonetheless. Check out that use of "nonetheless". Yeah? Awesome.
I think I still view my journey as not over. And part of that is I never wanted to call it a journey because they eventually end and you go back. It's just that maybe the turbulence is over and I have a smoother flight ahead. But I don't want to just sit here. So I became part of the flight crew. I have been working once a week for about 3 weeks now. As I train and watch videos about the program I have come to love I am even more fired up to continue progressing and help others as well. Being on the other side of the desk is very different and I respect those who helped me along the way so much more now. It is taking me some time to learn everything, but I look forward to giving back. While my body is still finding it's happy place, I feel like I am finding my own emotional happy place as well. I think I may have found my niche. We'll see once training is done and I'm on my own!!!
3 Weeks until the Color Run!!!

I think I just ran 2 miles

I switched my routine today. Corey was home (a first) so I went running without the kids. I love the park and I feel like I've been  getting a good run when I go there. It's perfect because the kids play, I run, we all see each other. The only thing is that I run in a circle on a track. My mind takes over and is always counting and telling me how much further I can or can't run. So today I went by music. My plan was just to start running and run for a song, walk for a song. Love is a Battlefield is over 5 minutes long. I'll admit I took a 30 second break, but once that song was done, I felt like I could keep going. When that song ended, I kept going. In all, I ran about 1.75 miles with 3 walking breaks. All were less than a minute. This was the best run of my life. Thank you Pat Benatar. I am so excited for the Color Run!!!

Week Twenty-Two: For LIFE!!!

I woke up giddy about my meeting this morning. No, I didn't. I became giddy 15 minutes after I woke. I just don't wake up giddy. I felt like today was kind of like a graduation. I took it as a day of reflection on my whole journey to where I am today. When I first walked into Weight Watchers, I felt as if I was entering rehab. This was the day I walked out of the rehab center clean and sober and ready to become a sponsor. I became a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers today!!! I had no idea when I started this thing that 22 weeks later I would be signing the Lifetime Members poster. I remember hoping to lose 8 pounds before Thanksgiving and that seemed like an impossible feat. I lost 18. Now I sit here and type being nearly 32 pounds lighter than I was the first time I wrote in this blog. I have not only changed physically, but mentally as well. I can now say that I am confident in my own skin. I am not ashamed of the face I see in the mirror. I am in control. I am not at the mercy of the scale. It does not dictate my happiness, or sadness, frustration, etc. I know what number is going to show up on that bad boy and if it creeps up, I don't freak because I know what to do. I have learned what to eat, how to eat, and that I CAN eat! Instead of craving chocolate chip cookies when I'm stressed, I crave a run. And while I can still pack away several cookies at one time, for the most part, my appetite is much smaller than it ever was. I just need a tiny bit of a naughty food and I'm good to go.
Though I've reached Lifetime status (meaning I've met my goal weight and maintained it for 6 weeks), I don't feel like this whole thing is just over. To me, being a Lifetime member means that Weight Watchers is my life. Its teachings are a part of me now. I can honestly say that I LOVE IT! And because of my love for the program, I have gotten a job with Weight Watchers and soon will be giving back and introducing others to a program that can truly change their lives too. I was ready for this. I didn't think I was in the beginning. The first 3 weeks were pretty hard. But after about a month, things started to come a little more naturally and now nearly 5 months out, it is almost second nature. I am still far from the person I want to be. However, in this aspect of my life, I am much much closer.
I struggled a little bit to maintain my weight these past 6 weeks because my weight kept wanting to go down. And by struggle I mean I ate ice cream and candy. Such a sacrifice. So my plan now is just to keep at it and see what my body does. I have a 5K to train for and we'll see what happens. If I stay the same, honestly, I'll be happy. I really am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. But if I lose some more weight, I can't complain either. This is a totally new place for me in life. I have never been as healthy or as in control of my body as I am today. I don't really know what to do next. I feel like I'm not ready to leave my weekly meeting, and the members there I consider family. But I'll be starting my job there soon and might need to just dedicate my time to that. It will just be an adjustment. And just how I adjusted to the program one step at a time, I'll be adjusting to this part of my life one step at a time as well. I have learned how to make new habits by implementing little changes one at a time until they become a habit. So here we go. One little thing at a time.
I think my first little thing should be a makeover. Yeah? Yeah.

My Progress:
Week one:   4.6 lost
Week two:   2.2 lost
Week three: 0.8 lost
Week four:   2.2 lost
Week five:    3.2 lost
Week six:     1.6 lost
Week seven: 2.2 lost
Week eight:  1.2 lost
Week nine:   2.0 lost
Week ten:    3.4  lost
Week eleven: 0.4 gained
Week twelve: 2.6 lost
Week thirteen: Christmas. Didn't weigh in.
Week fourteen: 0.8 lost
Week fifteen: 1.6 lost
Week sixteen: 1.8 lost
Week seventeen: 0.4 gained
Week eighteen: 2.0 lost
Week nineteen: 1.4 gained
Week twenty: On my death bed. Didn't weigh in.
Week twenty-one: 1.8 lost
Week twenty-two: .2 lost

Total: 31.4 pounds lost!

Week 21: You Get Back On

I was noticeably absent last week. Both from my meeting and my blog. What do you do when you fall off the horse? You get back on. I really didn't fall off a horse. I was more bucked off and trampled upon. If I thought the previous week was bad, the next was terrible. My family was all still sick, and then I became sick. The mom can't get sick! Monday morning I woke up feverish and in so much pain. I was afraid it was the flu but it turned out to be just a horrible sinus infection. I say "just" like it was nothing. It really was the worst sinus infection I've ever had. And I've had a lot. Maybe 40 or so? I had surgery 8 years ago to fix the problem, but it didn't quite do that. It just made the problem less frequent. Needless to say, I skipped my last meeting and weigh-in. I have not had much of an appetite for the past week and I have felt too crummy to cook so just about every meal has been fast food. I'm totally serious. I think we've put the carhop at Sonic through college. Or at least the CEO's kids. So even though I didn't eat much, everything I put in my mouth was pretty close to crap and I didn't work out at all. (That was thanks to pulling out my back Wedesday night putting Ellie back in bed). I was a mess. Yet I still lost about 3 1/2 pounds. I knew this was all fake but I have to stay within 2 pounds of my goal weight so I just wore heavy clothes today and clocked in at -1.8 pounds. I think my self-forgiveness thing was vital to my sense of well-being this week. I have been much more positive this week than last. I never really looked at myself and said, "Wow baby, you're looking good" but not because I felt fat, but because my eye was swollen and my face was flushed and sunken in. On the contrast, I didn't look in the mirror and say, "Wow ugly, you're fat and lazy and eating nothing but crap. Way to go stupid head." I realized that I didn't really have control over my circumstances and I was just going to ride it out and do the best I could. I have forgiven myself for being that mean person who called myself "stupid head" all the time and by doing that, the nice me is all that's left. The power of positive self-talk is extreme. I can never shut up the voice that rings in my head. It's always there. But I have control over what it says. Because it's my voice. And what I tell myself really sticks. It's rubber, and I'm glue. It sticks. The world can try to bring me down, but I know I have power to conquer it and if I can't quite conquer, I can at least ride it out until things start to look up.
Next week will mark 6 weeks since meeting my goal weight. This means I will become a lifetime member! I am thrilled that I have done this. Looking back at the beginning, I didn't think I would ever get here. And if I ever did, I didn't think I would be here this soon. Weight Watchers has changed me as a person for the better. I am  more positive and more optimistic about the future. I can't wait to start working (Saturday is my first day!) and be a part of other people's successes. It is seriously one of the most rewarding things I have ever been a part of. I can't wait to celebrate next week!

My Progress:
Week one:   4.6 lost
Week two:   2.2 lost
Week three: 0.8 lost
Week four:   2.2 lost
Week five:    3.2 lost
Week six:     1.6 lost
Week seven: 2.2 lost
Week eight:  1.2 lost
Week nine:   2.0 lost
Week ten:    3.4  lost
Week eleven: 0.4 gained
Week twelve: 2.6 lost
Week thirteen: Christmas. Didn't weigh in.
Week fourteen: 0.8 lost
Week fifteen: 1.6 lost
Week sixteen: 1.8 lost
Week seventeen: 0.4 gained
Week eighteen: 2.0 lost
Week nineteen: 1.4 gained
Week twenty: On my death bed. Didn't weigh in.
Week twenty-one: 1.8 lost

Total: 31.2 pounds lost!

Week Nineteen: Sick Kids=Tired Mommy

I had a difficult week. My kids and husband were sick. I was drowning in sea of laundry. I didn't have time to do anything for myself because when my kids are sick they need lots of love and attention and dang it, I'm gonna give it to them. When I'm sick I just want someone to hug me and sit with me. So that's what I did. The weather was not optimal for playing at the park while mom runs. And I couldn't really bring my kids to someone's house so I could run. So I think it's pretty obvious that I just didn't get to run like I wanted to last week.
Plus, I just had this depression going on. I don't know what caused it, but I was just kind of down. It was pretty frustrating to me because I knew I was depressed and I didn't want to feel that way but I didn't know how to fix myself. I was stuck inside and not feeling great myself which didn't make things better either. I was tired and overworked and it was a tough week. One of the worst things that started happening was that I started to feel fat. I've lost 30 frickin pounds and I felt fat! Where the heck did that come from? And because I felt fat, I started to act fat. Meaning I started to eat without thinking and made lots of excuses not to exercise or do anything really. Why did I feel fat? Then I realized that my outward appearance doesn't really have anything to do with how I feel about my body. The problem is, I'm still figuring out how to fix that. My whole life I have hated what I see in the mirror. I always thought that once I lost weight I would instantly like what I saw. Apparently I was super wrong. I've realized that the woman I see in the mirror is still me. A smaller me. But still me. My eyes are the same, my nose is the same, my ears are the same, my teeth are the same. I'm still me and there are still things that bug me. I have had two kids grow in my belly and the second one just kind of made it stay all stretched out. That may never go away. There are things that I do like. I have a jaw line. I have narrower hips. And yesterday I noticed a crease in my arm instead of a bulge which used to be there. These are little victories and I love it. But I've realized that in my mind, I am still a fat girl. When I go to sit down somewhere, I imagine I will take a larger spot than I actually will. When I go to the store I still gravitate towards the biggest size because I just don't think anything smaller will fit. When I am around thin people, I still feel like the fattest one there. I know it's not true anymore, but it's still in my head.
So weight loss is not just a physical thing. Last week our meeting topic was about believe to achieve. So once you achieve, then what? Do I just need time? Do I need pictures? Do I need to line my walls with mirrors? I don't know. I brought up my little dilemma in my meeting yesterday and I had some great feedback. One of my fellow members, Suzy gave me some amazing words of wisdom and a hug at the end of the meeting. She said, that I needed to focus on self forgiveness. I couldn't feel guilty for snuggling with my kids and taking a nap in the afternoon for making up for the sleepless night before snuggling a sick kid. The self forgiveness thing was pretty awesome. I realized that it wasn't just that week of slacking off and crazy last minute dinners (meaning going out for burgers) that I needed to forgive myself for. I need to forgive myself for 29 years of self loathing. 29 years of feeling insecure and not good enough. 16 years of failed attempts to lose weight. 16 years of negative self-talk. I need to forgive myself and love me anyway. This is going to be a process, but maybe this is how to flip that switch in my head that I know needs switching.
So to all of you who have been supporting me along this journey, THANK YOU for your positive comments. I am so grateful to have the support of my friends. I love you all dearly. I never imagined the response I would get on this blog. And I never would have imagined that several of you would be inspired to make your own changes! That's the ultimate compliment.
I gained 1.4 pounds this week, but went running yesterday and had a great run. I weighed myself this morning and am back down so all is forgiven :)

My Progress:
Week one:   4.6 lost
Week two:   2.2 lost
Week three: 0.8 lost
Week four:   2.2 lost
Week five:    3.2 lost
Week six:     1.6 lost
Week seven: 2.2 lost
Week eight:  1.2 lost
Week nine:   2.0 lost
Week ten:    3.4  lost
Week eleven: 0.4 gained
Week twelve: 2.6 lost
Week thirteen: Christmas. Didn't weigh-in.
Week fourteen: 0.8 lost
Week fifteen: 1.6 lost
Week sixteen: 1.8 lost
Week seventeen: 0.4 gained
Week eighteen: 2.0 lost
Week nineteen: 1.4 gained

Total: 30 pounds lost! 

You're Welcome

I made something up today. I was tasty. Really, really tasty.
I took a container of Dannon Light & Fit Vanilla Greek Yogurt. (You could probably use regular light & fit vanilla too.). Then I took a spoonful of hot chocolate mix and stirred it all together. Then I added marshmallow bits (like the kind you get in your pack of hot chocolate mix.) And then I ate it. And I wanted more. I call it Hot Chocolate Yogurt. And it was 3 PointsPlus.
I think next time I'll add some graham cracker crumbs and call it S'mores yogurt.

I'm totally sitting here looking at my empty yogurt and fighting the urge to not lick the rest out. This stuff is good.

Week Eighteen: The Big 3-0

Well, I finally did it. I hit 30 pounds lost! I remember starting this whole thing thinking that 30 pounds was huge. And honestly, it is. But I don't think I realistically saw myself reach that. At least not at first. And then it was the last mile of the marathon where I just crawled! But I made it to 30 pounds lost. And not only that but I hit over 31! I lost two pounds last week. I have upped my running and that has made a big impact on the scale. I am gaining endurance and am now running more than I walk. Also a feat that I thought I would never accomplish 5 months ago. It is a great feeling.
So now I am at a healthy weight and am on my way to becoming a Lifetime member. And once that happens, I am going to work for Weight Watchers! I have come to love this program so much and am so excited to be a part of it. It has been a long time since I have been passionate about something more than my family and religion. I'll only work one meeting a week which allows me to continue to be passionate about my family and religion and give appropriate time to each. But I am really excited to be a part of such a great program and with such great people. I can continue to grow with the program and plan to do even more once my kids are fully in school. I hope to still lose a little more weight just I feel a little more comfortable and can wear a swimsuit without getting caught on "People of Walmart". But I really feel great. I am still changing and growing and figuring things out, but that's kind of a life-long thing right? For the first time I really feel in control of my weight. The scale doesn't dictate my numbers. I do. Take that sucker!!!

My Progress:
Week one:   4.6 lost
Week two:   2.2 lost
Week three: 0.8 lost
Week four:   2.2 lost
Week five:    3.2 lost
Week six:     1.6 lost
Week seven: 2.2 lost
Week eight:  1.2 lost
Week nine:   2.0 lost
Week ten:    3.4  lost
Week eleven: 0.4 gained
Week twelve: 2.6 lost
Week thirteen: Christmas. Didn't weigh-in.
Week fourteen: 0.8 lost
Week fifteen: 1.6 lost
Week sixteen: 1.8 lost
Week seventeen: 0.4 gained
Week eighteen: 2.0 lost

Total: 31.4 pounds lost!!!

Two Things

I went to the store the other day in hopes of finding a mustard-colored cardigan. Apparently I am in the wrong season, but I thought I'd try. I went into a store where I have been before looking for jeans (when I was squeezing in the 16's and needed bigger pants). When I walked in, the sales lady looked at me funny and asked if she could help me. I said I was looking for a mustard-colored cardigan. She said they didn't have any and then kindly told me that they specialized in plus-size clothes. Pretty much saying, "Look lady, you're too skinny to shop here." It was AWESOME!!!
This morning I went running with my friends. I'm doing really well in my training and am slowly adding more running and less walking. I am up to my eyeballs in laundry so I grabbed an old t-shirt and what I thought were pretty tight-fitting yoga pants and figured I'd be fine running in those. Let's just say the biggest challenge of my run today was not that I was tired or I was running out of breath, but it was the struggle to keep my pants from falling off of me. I was literally holding my pants up while running. Not ideal, but AWESOME!
I'm still trying to maintain my weight, but let's just see if I can hit 30 pounds tomorrow!

Week Seventeen: Trying to stay the same

So my mom came last week. We had a great time! We went shopping and out to eat just about every day. My goal was to just stay the same weight this week. I weighed in at +.4 pounds. Not too shabby. When my mom was here, I noticed my scale going up and up and up. Seriously, we had Cinnabon, Olive Garden, 5 Guys, Texas Roadhouse. The scale was going up. I tried to order well but that's just a lot of eating out. By the time my mom left I was almost 2 pounds heavier. So instead of panicking or giving up (which is what I would have done 5 months ago), I realized that I had the tools, the know-how and the ability to lose that weight again. I just tightened the reins a little bit and moved more and was back down by my weigh-in. I do not regret anything I did during my mom's stay. We had such a great time and I really didn't go out of control, but I was able to get things back where they should be with ease. I think I can stick with this for life!


My Progress:
Week one:   4.6 lost
Week two:   2.2 lost
Week three: 0.8 lost
Week four:   2.2 lost
Week five:    3.2 lost
Week six:     1.6 lost
Week seven: 2.2 lost
Week eight:  1.2 lost
Week nine:   2.0 lost
Week ten:    3.4  lost
Week eleven: 0.4 gained
Week twelve: 2.6 lost
Week thirteen: Christmas. Didn't weigh-in.
Week fourteen: 0.8 lost
Week fifteen: 1.6 lost
Week sixteen: 1.8 lost
Week seventeen: 0.4 gained

Total: 29.4 pounds lost!
Oh my gosh I am so ready to hit 30! 

Week Fifteen: Nope, It's week 16

How do I know it's week 16? I got an award! I was awarded the 16 week Stay and Succeed charm to go on my awesome 10% key chain. I always wondered why 16 weeks in the program was such a big deal that it deserved a charm. Now that I've hit that milestone, I realize that a lot of people don't stick with it that long. I guess it is pretty cool to stay with something for 4 months. I look at where I am and am SO GLAD I've stuck with it!!! I was kind of hoping to hit 30 pounds lost this week. But I was .2 pounds away. That is nothing to be sorry about! 29.8 pounds is pretty impressive, 30 it's just nice and round. But here's what is the greatest about it, I am now at a healthy weight!!! I haven't been at a healthy weight since about elementary school. It turns out that my height is actually 5' 9" (maybe I should have measured when I first started) which means a healthy weight is between 135 and 169 pounds. So this technically happened 2 weeks ago. That's fine though.
Last Saturday was an open house for Weight Watchers where for 5 hours people could come and see a meeting, learn and try new recipes, ask questions about the program, sign up, win prizes and listen to an awesome presentations about healthy oils. I was asked to be a success story and do a presentation on healthy oils. I still feel like a success story in progress but it was still such a fun experience for me! I spent the week studying up on the 5 healthy oils that Weight Watchers recommends and have really become kind of a healthy oil nerd too. I shared what they are, why we need them and how we can use them. I learned a lot and had fun. I was also asked to share my story. I brought some pictures from Ellie's birthday party last year. These ones:

 

And then I showed a picture from Christmas. Ellie's birthday is next week.

 

I shared my simple little story, my breaking point, and what Weight Watchers has done for me. I had a great time doing my presentation (twice!) but what was amazing was the people who came up to me afterwards saying how they are just like how I was and that they're ready to change. One girl came with tears in her eyes saying that I motivated her to get going. I can't tell you how incredible that made me feel. I was so excited for her and hope she can become who she wants to be. 

My mom is here this week and we have done a lot of shopping. I've been grabbing mediums thinking they're going to be too tight because really the last time I went shopping with my mom I was grabbing XXL hoping they'd fit. I felt so awesome putting on the mediums and seeing that they fit! I can move my arms and everything! I tried on some 11/12 pants today thinking there would be no way that I could zip them. I pulled them up and zipped with ease. I feel awesome. And this is just the beginning.

My Progress:
Week one:   4.6 lost
Week two:   2.2 lost
Week three: 0.8 lost
Week four:   2.2 lost
Week five:    3.2 lost
Week six:     1.6 lost
Week seven: 2.2 lost
Week eight:  1.2 lost
Week nine:   2.0 lost
Week ten:    3.4  lost
Week eleven: 0.4 gained
Week twelve: 2.6 lost
Week thirteen: Christmas. Didn't weigh-in.
Week fourteen: 0.8 lost
Week fifteen: 1.6 lost
Week sixteen: 1.8 lost

Total: 29.8 pounds lost! 

Week Fourteen: I'm getting in their heads!

Last week we discussed lessons we learned in 2012 and how to take those into the new year. I said that I learned that I never regret exercising, but I always regret not exercising. As I sat down yesterday my neighbor next to me was talking to me and telling me that he had gone swimming every day the last week. He said I was a great motivation because my voice was ringing in his head saying he'd never regret going. HA! I told him that I hear myself all the time too. I always feel like I talk way too much in our meetings so it's nice to know that all my talking actually does help others.
This last week was kind of crazy. I went out to eat 4 times. One of those times was my anniversary and I put my 49 weekly points to use. Corey took me to BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse which is one of my favorites. The problem with BJ's is that they don't post their nutrition information online. I've never asked for it in the restaurant, but online it says that they only have it for California and Oregon. So I just have to guess. I guessed my meal was about 30 points. I'm allotted 28 for the day. It was WORTH IT! We shared an appetizer of southwest spring rolls of which I ate 2. Then I switched my fries for a salad and felt pretty good about that. But when it came to my Black and Bleu burger, I left it unadulterated and enjoyed every stinking mouthful. I cut it in half first mainly to make it more manageable to eat, but also to limit myself to just half of the burger. I savored every bite and loved it! As I reached the end of my half burger (Probably still the size of my hand) I was full! I didn't need the whole thing. But we had to share a Pizookie for dessert. Also totally worth it. I stuffed myself for the first time in months. I loved the food I was eating, but I hated the feeling of being full. We went for lunch and I was full all day long. I did get the energy to go running that afternoon so I did feel a little better. It was just kind of eye-opening for me to realize that I used to eat like that all the time. I would eat not until I was satisfied, but until I was STUFFED. Once in a while is enough for me now. I realized I really don't like the feeling of being stuffed.
Here's what's awesome though. I still lost 1.6 pounds this week! That is why Weight Watchers is working for me. I have the freedom to eat out 4 times in a week and stuff myself 2 of those times and still lose weight. I like the commercial that's out right now with Jennifer Hudson where she says she loves bread and cheese and still eats it. And THAT'S why she still looks the way she does. It's a great commercial because it's true! It's a real way to live. And I do not regret my Black and Bleu burger and Pizookie for one single second. (Pizookie is a pizza cookie. Delightful.)

This week I also received a phone call from my leader. She asked if I had a minute to talk which I did and then here's how the next part of the conversation went:
Rachel: How do you feel about healthy oils?
Erika: About what?
Rachel: Healthy oils.
Erika: Um...

It was kind of funny. It turns out that this Saturday is a big open house celebrating Weight Watchers' 50th birthday. They are going to be having demos and classes and I have been asked to be a success story and talk a little about my experience and then teach a little class on how to incorporate healthy oils into our day. It's weird to think of myself as a success story. I feel like I am still a work in progress but I'll probably feel that way until the day I die. I'm always trying to be better. It is really weird for me to hear people tell me that I am an inspiration. I feel like I am just doing my thing. But to be honest, it really drives me. I don't want to let those people down. But it's still weird sometimes. I am SO GLAD that I am inspiring others to become the person they want to be. But it's still weird sometimes. Does that make any sense at all? I think I would be a terrible celebrity. All I know is that this Saturday I get to talk about my story and hopefully give people some new ideas. Like I said, I feel like I talk a lot in my meetings but it feels good when I hear that something I said helped someone else. Hence, the blog. I'll let you know how it goes.

My Progress:
Week one:   4.6 lost
Week two:   2.2 lost
Week three: 0.8 lost
Week four:   2.2 lost
Week five:    3.2 lost
Week six:     1.6 lost
Week seven: 2.2 lost
Week eight:  1.2 lost
Week nine:   2.0 lost
Week ten:    3.4  lost
Week eleven: 0.4 gained
Week twelve: 2.6 lost
Week thirteen?: 0.8 lost
Week fourteen?: 1.6 lost

Total: 28 pounds lost!

Let's see if I can hit 30 next week!

Training Update

I need new shoes. I have been running in the same shoes I've been running in since high school. Yeah, it's probably time. I got new running shoes for my 21st birthday (can't remember if it was the first time I turned 21 or the second time) and I loved those shoes but I did a lot more running in them and they're pooped out. The high school ones are at least still semi-intact. That out of the way, we'll just conclude that I need new shoes. Preferably pink ones.
I started training for my 5K. At our park there is a great walking path that is 5 laps to a mile. There is a playground in the middle of it so my kids play while I get exercise. My first attempt to run was successful in that I ran as much as I planned. I walked two laps, ran one, walked two, ran one and maybe did that sequence one more time. I pretty much ran half a mile with a lot of walking in between. But it was a great start and I wasn't as tired as I thought I would be. I increased my running to running one lap, walking one lap and did that to equal a mile of running. Saturday I started running a little more than a lap at a time and walking to finish that lap. But I pooped out after 2 miles of running and walking. I realized that I should probably be going a total of 3 miles if I intend to do a 5K. So today I did my walk a lap run a lap for 3 miles. I actually walked about a mile before that because my friend was at the park and I like to chat. It was a pretty awesome work out. My first couple of laps running weren't too bad. I could really feel my legs getting tired at about the 6th running lap but I kept going and finished 7. I've tried different running programs before and they just didn't work for me. It was all about time and for me I like to see distance markers. It may not be the best way to train, but it's working for me. Next time I'll run 8 laps total. Once I'm up to 8 laps, I'll start decreasing my walking time and increasing my running in between laps. Hopefully, I'll be running 3 miles by April 6th. My goal is to run the entire race. I don't care how long it takes, but I want to run it all. I have participated in one other 5K before and ended up walking half of the first mile and most of the second. I want to run this whole thing. And end up pink in the end :)

Week Thirteen: Not sure what week this is...

I'm calling this week 13. Maybe it's 14. That whole missing a meeting on Christmas has really messed me up here. Regardless of what we call it, it's been another week and it feels good to get back into some sort of routine again. It was so fun to go back to my meeting and see my friends again. I hope we're a typical group and that every Weight Watchers meeting group loves each other like family. We had a little party-type meeting where we ate fruit and chatted about our holiday. I brought some of my favorite granola bars to share. They were a hit. Click here for the recipe if you're wondering. They're 3 points plus if you make them according to the recipe. I slimmed it a bit and made them 2 points. We had a great meeting and talked about the challenges and our victories over the holidays. Most people were pretty happy to have gained just a little or stay about the same weight. It made me feel a little better knowing that most people didn't lose 5 pounds over that little break we had. I honestly was hoping to see 3 or 4 pounds lost since it had been 2 weeks since I weighed in but wasn't very hopefully because my scale at home wasn't budging! I felt a victory over my 172 barrier but apparently my body wanted to test me and stick at 169 for a while. I did end up losing 0.8 pounds taking me from 169.8 to 169 pounds. Not very awesome sounding. This is why I love meetings. Instead of feeling bad for my wussy little number, I realized that every holiday season of my whole life I end up gaining a few pounds and then holding onto them and regretting it every summer. So losing weight (even a tiny bit) over the holidays was actually a victory. It kind of set me back on track and I am more focused than ever. I also realize that my body is getting smaller and therefore the pounds are going to be coming off a little slower. But inside I am frustrated. Imagine running a marathon. You run 25 miles and are making good time. Then at about 25 1/2 miles you decide to walk. You can kind of see the finish line, but it's still a bit far. But for some reason, you just have to walk. Slowly. All the way to the finish.
Then reason enters back into my brain. Just because you walk at the end of a marathon doesn't mean you won't finish it. It's still 26.2 miles no matter how fast you go. As long as you finish the race. Hmm...makes me excited for my 5K.

My Progress:
Week one:   4.6 lost
Week two:   2.2 lost
Week three: 0.8 lost
Week four:   2.2 lost
Week five:    3.2 lost
Week six:     1.6 lost
Week seven: 2.2 lost
Week eight:  1.2 lost
Week nine:   2.0 lost
Week ten:    3.4  lost
Week eleven: 0.4 gained
Week twelve: 2.6 lost
Week thirteen?: 0.8 lost

Total: 26.4 pounds lost!